Just today I heard a friend said ‘but I love him..’ Without any intention to discredited my friend, suddenly I remembered all the similar scenes that have happened between us. I gave her reasoning, she answered with ‘but I love him..’ Somehow, this ‘but I love you’ scenes makes me wonder. I start counting how many of that ‘I love you’s that can still be claimed true until this second. I don’t know her answer, but with the exception of this recent case, I think the answer is none.
So what does that make of her? Or more, of love?
I used to believe that real love is something irrevocable. Something immortal. Something that can last forever. So if you wake up one day and realize that you don’t love someone, it means that it was never really love. You just thought it is. But is it really true?
We all heard a saying that the closest one a human can love uncondititionally is the love to her (and maybe his) children. But I never imagined that the ‘condition’ is as plain as good or bad: I love you as long as you’re good to and for me. I mean, I always thought that love is blind and love is the purest form of emotion because it exists without any calculation of logical thinking. The phrase like ‘I know he’s a jerk, but I love him still’ is very love-ish. If you end up leaving that person, it is not because you stop loving them, you just start to think rationally. That’s why the promise in marriage is ‘to love you forever, in sickness and in health, bla bla bla’ NOT ‘I will stay with you forever, bla bla bla’. Because unconciously people believe that love can be forever, but not with the relationship.
But then again is that really?
My point is, no one is that perfect. One way or another, you’ll get hurt, you’ll be dissapointed. So if love is not that strong and not that irrevocable, then why should we make big decisions in our life based on or because of love?